Snapshots
by Lotus-01
Summary: Glimpses of Daniel's life on Abydos. Updated for Valentine's Day.
1. A Four Letter Word

He was in the vile an tao again. This much Sha're guessed, since he was not in their bed and only the call of that cavern would make him rise this early. She had not heard Daniel leave, as he appeared to have learned a deal of stealthiness in his months with her. She knew that he knew waking her while leaving for the Map Room would only result in her becoming upset and him feeling guilty. Sha're had tried this tactic many times, urging him to stay with her tears and forlorn expressions. It was manipulative, she knew, but it had worked for the most part, and on those occasions he had stayed in the city with her for the day. But he had soon learned how to avoid this, by either leaving when she was still asleep for simply not coming home at all.

It cut Sha're deeply, to know that her husband would rather spend time with the cold, hard stone than with her. She who loved him more than anything. How could a star map captivate him like that, she thought to herself. Daniel looked at those symbols on the wall the way he used to look at her, with fascination and wonder. Or maybe she had just imagined it. It had only been a few months since Daniel had said he wanted to stay on Abydos, but it felt like an eternity. Sha're longed for that feeling when he'd held her close as if she was only thing in his life. When he did return to their home in Nagada, he was exhausted from the endless studying, sore from the cramped positions he had spent the days in. He was too tired to talk to her, too tired to make love, to tired to do anything but collapse next to her into sleep.

The find of the vile an tao happened weeks ago. They had taken to exploring the desert around the town and pyramid together. She had enjoyed spending the time with him, climbing over rock and into tunnels, showing him all the hidden treasures of Abydos. They had found the cavern completely by accident. It wasn't that far from the pyramid, the entrance concealed along the base of the Elai Mountains. The jagged cliff face was far too high to scale, but Daniel hadn't been disappointed when he'd found the secret entrance, marked by a small symbol. It had been dusty and dark, but the torchlight had revealed the vile and tao's secrets. She had to admit to herself it had seemed wondrous, the gold walls and intricate carvings. She and Daniel had spent the night there, and made love in the cavern's soft sands.

The novelty had quickly worn off for Sha're, once she realised it was more than a discovery for Daniel. It became his obsession. He spent endless days taking notes, making observations and generally ignoring the world outside. She had left him to his own devices, confident he would not be able to stay away from her for too long. But he didn't return. She brought him food and drink, and books he requested to help him with the translations, but he barely acknowledged her. She sat in the torchlight, trying to pull his attention away, but he was fixated. She tried distracting him, pulling him into a searing kiss, trying to imprint herself back into his memory. It had worked in the short term, but he always returned to his beloved discovery.

Recently she had simply sat in the cavern, hoping his presence was enough to alleviate the loneliness that was eating at her heart. But it was nowhere near good enough. She was ignored. And Sha're had finally had enough.

Reaching the entrance to the map room, Sha're took a deep breath, preparing herself fro the onslaught she knew was to come. But it was necessary, she reasoned. She could not – would not – lose him to some squiggles in stone.

Daniel was sitting, hunched over facing the far wall. He was writing furiously in his notebook, muttering absently to himself. Perhaps she was being too hard on him, she thought, taking in his concentrated form. Moving as deftly as she could, Sha're made her way across the floor, finally kneeling unnoticed behind him. Carefully, she brought her hands to rest on his shoulders, feeling the tension he held there from too many hours hunched over himself. Gently, she began to massage his shoulders, feeling the muscles beneath constrict and then relax and he became aware of her presence. Sha're was very skilled at this, perceiving where to apply pressure and where to be gentle, knowing her husband's body intricately. Daniel had terrible posture, and she had done this many times to alleviate his tired and sore muscles. He had always been appreciative.

Daniel leaned back into her hands, his eyes fluttering closed. "Sha're…" he moaned as she worked out a particularly difficult knot. Finishing, Sha're moved her arms around his body in a gentle embrace, kissing the top of his head. "Do you not wish to come back to the city, my husband?" she asked, her voice sultry.

Daniel leant back further into her arms. "Mmmm…that would be nice" he replied. "But I want to get this section finished" he said more quickly, sitting up straight and redirecting his attention to the wall in front of him.

Slightly put out, Sha're felt her understanding melt away. "You missed the gathering last night". She said quietly, but not without accusation. It had been the announcement of the engagement of Ritiana, her cousin and a dear friend. He'd promised he'd be there.

"Oh, damn, was that last night?" Daniel berated himself. "I'm sorry Sha're" he said distractingly, his attention still on the wall.

Sha're felt her anger grow. "You do not sound it" she snapped before she knew what she was doing. That got his attention, and he turned towards her, confused at her sudden change in mood. Sha're tried to calm herself, and remove the sharp anger from her tone. "Many people asked where you were. What could I tell them? They do not understand the fascination this room hold for you…I do not understand it".

"My fascination? This room could hold secrets of the Stargate, Sha're. About the universe!" his tone was excited, encouraging her to join him in the wonder of the map room.

"My father and brother asked after you. They have not seen you in many weeks" she continued, ignoring his protests. "I feel like I have not seen you either. It is very lonely in the city by myself".

Daniel slowly stood up, followed by Sha're. "What are you getting at?" he asked. "I'll see father and Skarra soon enough…they'll survive without me". He laughed self consciously. "And you just said you went to the gathering last night, with your entire family, the entire city, even. How can you be lonely?"

"The entire city, yes, Danyel. Everyone but you. Don't you know I wanted you to be there?" her frustration was starting to show. "You promised me you would be there, but you could not tear yourself away from this place for one night to keep that promise?"

Daniel sighed. "Sha're, I just forgot, and I'm sorry. But this is more important than – "

"What? More important than me?"

He rubbed his head irritably. "That's not what I was going to say".

Sha're felt her anger slowly building. "But it's what you think, isn't it? That all this" she gestured to the carved walls, "Is more important to you than me. Then us". He didn't reply.

"You mean more to me Danyel", she continued, "Then anything in the world. It hurts that you do not feel the same for me". Tears threatened to flow, but she held her composure, holding his gaze.

"Sha're, I love you", he said, as if, saying this, she would fling herself into his arms and all their troubles would be forgotten.

But she simply shook her head, reigned back her tears and looked at him, a sad smile on her face. "You say that, but I do not think you understand what it truly means". She held up her hand to stop the protest she knew was coming, and continued. "You love your books and you love these walls, but you do not love me".

"Sha're" he said softly, reaching out to her, but she retreated out of his grasp.

"Passion is not love, my Danyel. I have always given myself to you. Offered my body and heart, but you do not do the same for me. You share my bed but do not share your soul"

"That's unfair, Sha're". Daniel felt his own anger start to rise. "You don't know how hard it is for me-"

"You don't know how hard it is for _me" _she cried. Her carefully restrained tears began to flow freely down her face. "To spend the days and nights in our empty home, not knowing when you will return. So I come here to be with you, but you do nothing but stare at those walls and write in your books".

"Then what you want from me, Sha're?" he replied angrily. "To spend every minute of the day with you? To have to reassure you every minute that I'm your husband and that I love you? I can't do that. I can't sit in the sun all day like the others, revelling in mediocrity and laziness. All of this" he gestured wildly around the room. "All of it is apart of me. I can't ignore it. I won't". He strode purposefully to his place against the far wall, picking up his notebook and continuing with his notes. Without looking up, he said the words he knew would hurt her the most. "And if you don't understand that, maybe you don't love me as much as you claim".

Sha're tried not to show the deep pain his words had caused her. She resigned herself to muttering some unflattering words to him underneath her breath before fleeing the room. Once outside, the sun stung into her skin and eyes, and she felt the heat rise dizzyingly up to her head. A safe distance away, she braced herself against the stone wall for support. Overwhelmed with despair, she sank into the sand, wishing she could bury her shame in its silky depths. Her ragged, heaving breathes and steady tears carried out into the dry desert air.

Inside the chamber, Daniel cursed as the torch lighting the room dwindled and suddenly extinguished.

* * *

When Daniel returned to their home in Nagada that night, Sha're was already asleep. She was curled up on the far side of their large bed, facing the wall, blocking him out. Daniel slid into bed beside her, noticing for the first time how troubled his wife looked. Even in sleep, a furrowed brow and slight frown marked her features, and Daniel wondered how much he was to blame for the change in her. Her demands on him were unreasonable, he had reassured himself in his anger. No husband in Nagada was expected to show his wife the devotion she asked of him. But, Daniel considered, had he not always told her not to conform to the traditions of marriage? That she was equal to him in every way, that her needs were just as important as his?

Looking at her worn face, Daniel realised just how long it had been since he'd _seen _her. In the map room, she had drawn him away from his discoveries, enticing him with the pleasure of her flesh. She had clung to him on the floor of the chamber as they had made love, but he had always returned to his research. Other than that, they had hardly spoke or made contact. She had brought him food and drink, water to refresh himself with, but he had given her no more than a passing thanks. He hadn't stop to think of the effect it was having on her, foolishly imagining she was busying herself in the city with her own affairs.

Daniel hesitantly reached out to his wife, laying the tips of his fingers on her bare arm. Her skin was as cold as stone, he noticed, and he wished he had the courage to take her in his arms and keep her warm. A few months ago he wouldn't have hesitated. Instead, Daniel withdrew to the opposite side of the bed, folding his arms around himself in a hopeless effort to evade the chill in the night air.

* * *

Sha're always rose when the sun did, or at least she had begun to again. In those first blissful months with Daniel, his bright morning smile and tender tickling had enticed her to stay in bed, to relish the simple comfort of lying next to him, his hands drawing patterns on her skin and her hands brushing lightly through his hair. She had missed him most in the mornings, when her fingers had met only cold sheets. Her disappointment had slowly turned to anger as she awakened each day to find him missing.

He was here with her now, she realised as her eyes drifted over his body, turned away from her. His stubborn, unmovable presence, she thought. She regretted what she had said to him yesterday, sharp words designed to wound him, to hurt him. At the time, she thought if she could hurt him, he would know how she felt, day after day. But she had only succeeded in hurting herself, by provoking his own harsh words, and the pain she saw in his eyes when she challenged his love. She regretted that, too. No man in Nagada was like Daniel, would dote on her, respect her, like Daniel did. Like Daniel used to, she reminded herself.

Sha're rose from the bed, manoeuvring herself awkwardly over Daniel's sleeping form, careful not to wake him. Her eyes lingered on her husband's boyish face for a moment, before dressing for the day. She didn't have the strength, the will, to fight with him again. Without allowing herself another glace which she feared might break her, Sha're left.

* * *

It had been dark for hours when Daniel finally heard his wife return to their home. He hadn't gone to the map room that day. Instead, he had sat in their home, waiting for her to return. Waiting for what, he wasn't sure of. He didn't think he was up to another shouting match. A talk then, he supposed, even if he didn't have the slightest idea what to say to her. An 'I love you' had proved to be disastrous, but what else could he say to her? They were three simple words that didn't have a great deal of synonyms. Or maybe they did, it wasn't he had ever had much experience or desire to engage in the heartfelt 'feelings' talks. The best he could do was wing it, he supposed.

Sha're breezed into the room and barely gave him a second glance before starting towards the hearth. "Evening, my husband" she said with a tempered voice, "Have you eaten?"

Confused, Daniel could only stutter, "Uh…no. Not yet".

"I shall make you something" she said, in the same, light tone.

He watched as she gathered together the ingredients for their meal. The scent of cooking meat filled to room, and Sha're began to roll some flat bread, as it was too late for cooking a loaf. She didn't even look at him, concentrating on the fire in front of her. Daniel was too stunned to say anything. He had long been witness to Sha're's occasionally violent temper, knowing that it would fizzle out soon enough. But this cool regard for him was different to anything he had known of her. She spoke occasionally, although her tone was almost automatic, and contained no warmth, never addressing him by name. It was all, "Did you enjoy your day, my husband?", or, "Do you not think the night is fine, husband?" It occurred to him that this was her attempt at punishment. To show him the cool indifference that she had experienced at his hand. Fine, he thought, a touch of anger resurfacing. He would play along with her little game if that was how it was going to be.

They ate in silence, but for the first time since their marriage, it was not a companionable one. He inquired awkwardly about her day, and her replies were sparse and disinterested. She took his empty bowls from him at the end of the meal, and he tried to catch her eye. Stacking his bowl in her own, Sha're was the first to end the silence.

"I am sorry, my husband, for my words last night". She didn't look at him, but he heard the slight shake in her voice.

Grateful she had broken through, he reached out to take her hand, and was surprised when she pulled away. She hid it under the pretence of packing the remains of the meal, but he knew what it was.

"You said that I did not understand, and I do not" she continued. "I may never understand, but I will not be angry when you return to the vile an tao".

Even more confused, Daniel reached up to rub his sore eyes. "I'm sorry?" he asked. "You won't be angry? Meaning you don't care any more?" He wasn't sure this was the right direction for a reconciliation.

"Danyel" she looked up at him then, and he was stung by the lack of emotion in her eyes. "I was never one of those girls who dreamed of a strong, protective husband, I never expected to be swept away like the others I grew up with. I was practical". She played with the hem of her robe, her tone serious. "I accepted that marriage would be a duty, and was prepared to accept that. I never…" she faltered slightly. "I never expected love to complicate things".

"Well, I'm sorry I was such a complication in your life" Daniel said, letting his anger and confusion bleed through.

"I didn't mean it like that, Danyel. I loved you – almost from the moment we met. You probably don't remember, do you? That I was the one to give you water outside the mine that day?"

He did remember, at the time, being struck by the look in her eyes, and recognising it later, when he realised his feelings. But he said nothing, letting her continue.

"Because I loved you so much, I expected so much more from you. I wanted your love so badly, I wanted your soul. I wanted to own it, call you my own". She held a hand up to her mouth, composing herself, once again holding back tears. "I asked what you could not give. So I will no longer expect it". She turned away, rose to prepare for bed.

"What does that mean" Daniel called to her, "Sha're?"

"It means I can live without you needing me, Danyel. I can accept what you are willing to give". She disrobed and pulled on her light gown for sleeping without even looking at him. Before she might have given him a seductive smile, enticing him to come to her, but now the movement was mechanical.

More shocked than anything, Daniel moved to stop her, grasping her arm. "Sha're-"

"Don't, Danyel" she said. "Don't make this harder than it already is".

He slowly released her arm, and she casually moved to extinguish the main torches in their room, until only one remained, shadowing Sha're in semi-darkness.

"Maybe it's meant to be hard" he said softly, unsure of exactly where he was going with this. He looked at Sha're, but she remained in the shadows on the opposite side of the room. He could not see her face. "Sha're...I know I'm not an expert in this area…I was never one for long-term relationships". He kept his eyes on her, looking for the smallest change in her posture, a sign that she was listening to him. "But maybe all of this…love, marriage, everything…is meant to be hard. Because if you get through all of the hard things with someone – hate and anger and pain – and you still have love…then you know that it's real".

In the shadows, Sha're slightly inclined her head towards him in the sign he had been waiting for. "And I do love you Sha're. You may not believe it, but I do. I love the way you laugh when I can't quite get something right. I love your temper, the way your eyes sparkle when you're angry. I love that you can out-talk and outsmart almost anyone in the city, I love the way you swear and haggle in the market over a small cut of meat. I love that you pretend to be interested when I talk endlessly about nothing at all." He took a deep breathe, trying to alleviate the anxiety that clung to his heart. He was going to lose her, he realised, unless he did something. The words tumbled out of his mouth desperately; "But most of all…I love you way you love me. Because you're wrong – I do need you. I've been caught up in the discovery of the Map Room, but Sha're – please believe that it doesn't compare to you, to what we have together. I've been stupid and I'm sorry. But I'm asking you- begging you – not to give up on me. Because I'm not giving up on you".

Daniel looked intently at Sha're's shadowed form. The speech he didn't knew he had in him could either – at best – work miracles, or at worst, backfire and become the most embarrassing moment of his life. There was a tense silence in the room for several terrifying moments, before, to his great relief, he saw Sha're take a step forward. Some of the firelight reached her face and he saw that there was the faintest whisp of a smile there.

"I have a temper" she said simply, moving ever so slightly towards him.

Daniel smiled, taking his own step in her direction. "I like to argue" he said in response.

Sha're took another step. "We don't speak the same language".

"I'll teach you". He drew closer.

"I'm needy" she said, with another step.

"I want to be needed" he smiled.

"I'm frustrating"

"I'm patient". They were inches from one another now, and Daniel revelled in the lights that danced in Sha're's eyes. He reached down to close the distance between them.

"I'm sorry".

"So am I"

* * *

Sha're languidly stretched, a feeling of contentment enveloping her. It was almost dawn, the vibrant sun barely peaking above the horizon. But Sha're had no wish to rise, not with Daniel's arms around her, his body lying in sleep pressed against her own. They had talked for so long the night before, all their fears and doubts and troubles now out in the open. Daniel loved her, and that was all that mattered. She had doubted it, these past few weeks, but his gentle words to her had washed away any further reservations.

Smiling, she felt Daniel stir behind her, on the fringe of awakening. She turned herself in his arms, so that she was facing him. Carefully, she brushed an errant strand of hair from his forehead, placing a soft kiss there. "Morning, my Danyel" she whispered as she saw the fluttering of his eyelids. She was rewarded with a sly smile and a mumbled greeting in return. As he woke up more fully, Sha're found herself being gently pushed onto her back, and Daniel pressing soft kisses to the base of her throat. Sha're closed her eyes, her arms finding their way around Daniel, her fingers playing with the soft hairs on the back of his neck.

"Danyel" she whispered, then felt him smile against her skin before moving to the base of her neck. "Danyel" she said again, a bit more forcefully, refusing to let herself be distracted. His slightly flushed face came into view then, his brows coming together in confusion. She faltered slightly, wanting to give herself over to him, but silence was what had kept them apart before. "Are you going to the vile an tao today?" she asked. He looked surprised, or slightly annoyed, that she had harped back to the subject of the map room so soon. So she quickly pressed on. "Because I don't mind if you do. I want you to be happy". Her hand came round to brush his cheek.

"I am happy, Sha're" he countered, bringing him hand to cover hers. "Now I am happy". She smiled broadly, and reached up to kiss him, but he spoke again. "I do want to go back to the map room, there is so much there to study". Bringing her fingers to his lips, he kissed them lightly. "But I've ruined so many relationships because my work was always so much more important. I don't want that to happen to us". His hand came down to cup her face, his thumbs gently brushing against her cheek. "You are important to me, Sha're. More than anything". He leaned down to kiss her, and Sha're held him tightly, enthusiastically returning his passion. When she finally broke away, both were breathless.

"That place was my rival Danyel…but not anymore" she said. "I want to support you, to help you there. If you'll let me". His arms came to embrace her tightly, his face buried in her neck. Sha're could feel his happiness, and thanked whatever true god was out there for this wonderful gift to her life.

His head came level with hers again, the love and desire shining in his eyes. "Sha're, I lo-"

Her finger stilled his lips. "Don't say it". Confusion overcame his expression, and she reached up, her lips replacing her fingers as she whispered an explanation. "I already know"


	2. Kalach

A/N: Written for the Our Stargate Valentine's Day Challenge.

* * *

It hadn't occurred to Daniel at all. It was just another date on the calendar, another small square just like all of the others. The big black number 14 hadn't made him think twice. He might not have noticed at all, had it not been for the song dedications on the radio, or the overabundance of red roses adorning the streets and shop facades. Or the heart shaped cookies they were serving in the commissary. The trappings and overblown sentiments of Valentine's Day. All of which Daniel tried to avoid. With perhaps the exception on the cookies. He was only human after all.

Daniel had never been one for Valentine's Day. More than any other 'holiday', it reeked of insincerity, of candy hearts that tasted sweet, but came with a bitter aftertaste. Not that he'd ever really shared the day with anyone. Romantic attachments were few and far between during his college days, by his own choice as much as anything. And when he was with Sarah…well, he couldn't even remember when they'd made dinner plans, let alone think about celebrating Valentine's Day with her. His parents had never really embraced the custom, either.

Honestly, he just always found his work far more enjoyable than paper hearts and an overabundance of the colour pink. Work he should have been concentrating on, not musing over the insignificance of the day. But his computer cast a soft glow over his desk, and the light was caught in the glass of a particular photograph. Daniel's attention was drawn the woman with the dark hair and shy smile.

"_Tell me a story, my Danyel"._

_Daniel stilled the pen in his hand, and looked up from his journal to look at his wife. She was dressed for bed in a light robe, her dark hair spilling over her shoulders and down her back. Sha'uri smiled coyly at him, enjoying the attention of his eyes. _

_It was their nightly ritual. He had told her, one night, about Ra and his place in Earth mythology, so she might better understand her people's history. Sha'uri had since demanded a tale every night, a bizarre twist on the Arabian Nights mythos. But Daniel always rescinded happily, and this night was no exception. Capping his pen and casting aside his journal, Daniel patted the space of the bed beside him. Sha'uri curled up beside him, her head resting on his chest, as he composed a tale for her. _

"_Long ago, humans looked very different. Every person had two heads, four legs and four arms". Daniel heard Sha'uri give a small giggle, and he smiled with her as he continued. "The great god Zeus looked down at the humans, and became angry that these lesser beings were so happy, so contented. They needed to be punished for their audacity. So he threw his powerful thunderbolts and lighting down to earth, splitting all of the humans in two. Now they all had one head, two arms, two legs, and were scattered across the land. The human race cried out in pain, because while they were still alive, they were no longer whole". His voice became soft, as he stroked one hand through her soft curls. "Now we are doomed to spend our entire lives, searching for the missing piece of ourselves…the other half of our soul"._

_Sha'uri sighed, snuggling deeper into his chest. "That makes sense" she said softly._

"_What does?" he asked._

"_The gods" she said, craning her neck to turn her face towards his. "They are jealous of everything we have together – of the love that we share. Because they can't compete with it". Sha'uri's fingers came up to brush his cheek lightly. "It was love, my Danyel, that made of us follow you. The love for our families, for our people was stronger than our beliefs, our devotion to Ra. It was the one part of us that he could not have. He could demand our worship, but could never have our love". _

_Daniel's fingers covered hers. "I think you're right" he said, captivated by the depth of her dark eyes._

"_What we have, Danyel, they cannot touch" Sha'uri told him, raising herself up slightly so she could place a kiss to his lips. "What we have…they know nothing about"._

Daniel shook himself out of the memory, trying to ignore the taste of her on his lips. Memories presented themselves at the most inappropriate times – or perhaps, he considered – the most poignant. Daniel drew his attention back to what had started his train of thought in the first place. On his desk, amongst his various papers and mess, lay a single, perfect rose. Where, or who, it had come from was a mystery to Daniel, but he felt touched by the simple gesture.

"What'cha thinking?" Jack's distinctive voice cut through the room. Daniel turned to see his friend leaning against the doorway, smirking.

"Oh, uh…" Daniel fingered the rose petals. "Something Sha'uri once told me". Jack was silent, but then he most always was when Daniel spoke about his lost wife. "About the Goa'uld" he continued, "They hate us so much…because of our souls, our capacity to love".

"She was right" Jack said. "It's the one thing we have over the bastards". A heavy silence lay between them before Jack coughed and said more lightly; "You coming tonight?"

One of their celebratory barbeques. As Jack put it, the 'we lived another week' party for the team. Daniel nodded. "Yeah".

"Good". Jack nodded towards the rose in Daniel's hand. "Heard Carter say once that yellow roses mean friendship".

Daniel looked at him quizzically. "You didn't-"

Jack raised one eyebrow. "Me? You know I'm not into that girly crap". He smiled again. "See you tonight, Daniel".

Daniel looked at the rose in his hand. The words he had spoken to his wife so long ago echoed in his mind. He wondered how many pieces his soul had been shattered into and if maybe – just maybe – he had found them all.


End file.
